Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ We would have gone in there I've been in Scotland since Saturday. I was in Edinburgh for the Psych fest, and walking through town on the Saturday evening, I passed a run of Chinese places, a noodle bar with the windows steamed up, and something in me just went. We would have gone in there. That was the whole thought. Mum and I would have clocked it, checked out the menu, and probably gone in. We did city breaks together....
8 days agoย โขย 3 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ Presence (and trees) In one of the first weeks after my mum died, on a night when sleep wouldn't come, I found myself sitting at my bedroom window watching a tree. Not doing anything with it. Not journaling about it or thinking it through. Just watching the leaves move. I don't know how long I sat there. But somehow it helped. I remember trees coming up in a trip-sitting workshop I attended a decade ago. The facilitator...
14 days agoย โขย 3 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ Emotions need somewhere to go I was in Berlin last week, visiting friends. On Sunday afternoon, I went to a service at a place called the Church of Interbeing. For much of it, forty or so of us sat in a large ring around the outer edge of a circular carpet. The theme was the field of love. There was music, connection exercises, shared space. At one point, we all stood. Everyone turned inward, hands facing toward the...
21 days agoย โขย 3 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ Songs That Become Part of Our Lives A few days ago I picked up my guitar and started learning a song. It was the version Johnny Cash recorded of In My Life. I used it over the photo slideshow at Mum's funeral. Iโd heard it a dozen times while putting everything together. On the day itself, it quietly filled the room while decades of memories flickered across the screen. This time, I wasnโt at the funeral.I was sat at...
28 days agoย โขย 2 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ The Loving Rock A few months before Mum died, a friend recommended the book Walking Each Other Home by Ram Dass. It's a dialogue between two friends on love, death, and the spiritual path, with guidance for the end-of-life journey. I'm familiar with Ram Dass' work, but I hadn't read this one. There's a section in it called Guidelines for Being a Loving Rock for the Dying. I bookmarked it and returned to read it whilst...
about 1 month agoย โขย 2 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ Love is Sacred Itโs been a while. As some of you have guessed from my silence, my mother passed away. She departed at the end of May, just over two months ago now. I've been quiet since. Itโs been the greatest loss of my life, and I wanted to step away and slow down. But alongside the grief, I also feel incredibly fortunate that I still carry such a deep well of love for Mum. Over the last months, I've been discovering...
about 1 month agoย โขย 2 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ How We Meet What Happens The last couple of newsletters have been about setting. The space. The person in the room. There's another part that matters just as much. How we meet what's happening. โธป As my mumโs in palliative care, Iโve been seeing this up close. She knows sheโs moving toward the end of her life.Toward that final transition. And whatโs struck me is the way sheโs approaching it. Not with panic. Or constant...
5 months agoย โขย 2 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the Maps of the Mind newsletter. ๐ The Person in the Room Some of the nurses who come to see my mum feel different the moment they walk into the room. They slow down.They give their full attention when they ask a question.They patiently listen to the answer. Othersโฆ itโs more of a checklist. Pain?Bowels?Medication?Next.It feels like they're just ticking boxes, getting the job done. Same job. Same tasks.Very different experience. Itโs not just what they...
5 months agoย โขย 2 min read
Hi Reader, Welcome to this edition of the newsletter. ๐ Tending The Space Over the last couple of months or so, since my Mum has been homebound, we have been slowly re-shaping her room. A new bed. A different mattress. Tiered bedside tables, to hold everything within reach. Creams, oils, medicines, all with their place on them.A special water bottle that hangs from the bed.Different pillows and cushions for different purposes. Other small things like a phone holder and a new heat bag. The...
5 months agoย โขย 2 min read